After saying we wouldn’t speak until Friday, you calling me this afternoon really made my day. I couldn’t stop smiling over dinner, and I didn’t want to stop speaking to you. I need to stop being so soppy… 

Also. Harvester was nom. One of the best afternoons ever. 

I swear anything I do isn’t good enough and I’m always compared to my younger sister… it’s supposed to be the other way round isn’t it? I came home really excited. I did two mocks for D1 and my teacher marked them and I got 88% in both. That’s 1 raw mark off 90%. Tbh I think that’s bloody amazing for a person who taught herself the ENTIRE module in about one month… And I need 90% in C3 and C4 which is quite likely since I get in the 90’s in all my past papers that I’ve done, which means that its more likely I’ll get an A* overall. So I tell mum at dinner and she was like “Oh that’s good honey. Katie was telling us on the way home from school that she’s failing additional maths, blahblahblah but it doesn’t matter because she’s getting A*’s and 100% in loads of her exams like her calculator paper for maths and all her sciences blahblahblah.”

I’m proud of her, I really am. But I work 10x hard as her and it’s not fair that I don’t get praised for the amount of work that I do. I work for 5 hours straight at school and come home and do 3-4 more hours at least. She gets home from school after a 45 minute revision session and watches TV for an hour, then works for an hour until dinner then does nothing for the rest of the evening. I only stop to talk to Luke about 8 o’clock and even then I have history/psychology notes in the background that I’m reading or looking at a maths paper. I never get asked about my day or what my revisions like or if I’m coping, which I am, just. It was the same time last year, in the middle of wanted to kill myself, and I got nothing and for her stupid mocks she got everything. Good luck cards from family, texts from family wishing her good luck and I got nothing. Because apparently they weren’t ”that important”. 

Get me out of this house.